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Dating In Modern Times

7:30 AMUnknown

Late Adopter
Would you believe me if I told you that I only had a cell phone for the last 2 years? I was a late adopter for everything that related to social devices and media. Out of all my friends and family I was the last one to get an account for Facebook mostly out of boredom and it was the best way to stay connected with high school friends after graduation. But nonetheless, technology has impacted our lives culturally and socially. You may ask why I never got a cell phone until just recently. Other reactions people give me is an expression of confusion. They usually would ask "how did you live without a cell phone?" The only reason why I got a cellphone was because of work if not for that I probably still be without a cellphone. What does this have to do with dating? I have a gripe with cellphones and how it has changed our interaction with each other. I find it ironic that this device which keeps us connected to other people has disconnected those who are in our presence. Classic scenario is when you're talking to someone who is half paying attention because they are texting.


Dating Apps
Even before the dating phase, Tinder and related apps makes it easier for anyone to meet up with someone with a "swipe". I think these apps can be useful for those who are starting out as practice to speak with women, but obviously there is a huge difference in person. Which I encourage for the real thing and besides there are so many spam profiles on Tinder anyways. For me personally, it's rare for an actual conversation to start on these apps. It's a lot easier and more satisfying to flirt in person. Be in the moment and interact with your facial expressions and body movements. The hardest step is, well the first step and from there you flow with the momentum. Which is why I would say most guys do not approach women as much because of that first step. A wall of anxiety stops them from their tracks. Of course it's easier and safer to avoid rejection on dating apps but there's no real substance or connection. All you have to work with to attract someone is your pictures, which doesn't really show a lot of,your personality, and even when you get an opportunity to talk to someone it's difficult to translate how you are as a person through texting.

Reality Check
Texting is one dimensional and gets misinterpreted. There is also the wait times in between texting. I hate texting, and it could be because on my phone I always accidentally hit the home button which is right under my space bar. But mainly for the reasons I just mentioned. At least with speaking on the phone you can hear each others tone to get a feel of how their mood is. Happy, excited, cranky, worried, etc. I am definitely not a dating expert and there is still a lot I don't know about dating, but next time you see a girl that you think is beautiful, put your phone away, muster up some courage and go introduce yourself. You never know what the outcome will be and if she's not interested approach another girl until you succeed! Practice makes perfect as they say. Approaching is a compliment itself and besides what do you have to lose?

~Jay Alarcio

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